What is it with gay men and vodka? -Hungover in Houston.

Oh, honey! Vodka is simply mana from heaven, especially when mixed with a little cran. No self-respecting gay man would dare show up to any soirée less than 30 minutes late or without a cocktail in hand!

Most of the time, when it comes to hard liquor, we come packin’ with a bottle of Skyy or Gray Goose. Vodka mixes well with just about anything, and when a gay man comes of age, it is customary for most to have their blood replaced or transfused with vodka. We’re just replenishing the supply.

My personal favorite is pear vodka and Seven — but giiiirrrrrl, don’t get in the way of a queen and her passion fruit vodka. She may be a man, but bitch will throw down. Oh… yes… she… will…

Is it normal to be incredibly irate that your whore of an ex is goin after your most recent ex? – Doubtful in Denver

No the bitch did NOT! Someone fan me off and hand me a vodka before I explode!

It’s natural to be a bit upset. I think I would be, too! But, there’s a reason they’re both exes, and as my mother always used to tell me, “Don’t sweat the small shit.” There will always be drama when it comes to your ex-girl-and/or-boy-friends. Even the most amicable of break-ups can be awkward and taxing when you cross paths in a social situation. Doubly so when two exes decide to shack up.

Baby, take the high road. If you remained friends, be happy for them and get back out on the prowl. The dating pool may need some chlorine, but there are puh-lenty of fish in the sea. If you didn’t remain friends, just ignore it and don’t let it bother you. Chances are one or both of them are doing it to spite you, to add a little fire to your ire. Don’t get sucked in to the drama, and be the better person. Your mutual friends will respect you more if you do.

What’s the easiest way to manscape your genital region? I’ve used trimmers, a razor, even Nair, but no matter which method I use it’s always a hassle. It seems to require a degree of flexibility bordering on acrobatics to get certain areas and I’m always afraid I’ll miss a spot, which I think would be more embarrassing than not doing any grooming at all. I can’t help but think there’s an easier way out there that I just don’t know about. This isn’t something we really discuss. Please help! -Potentially Patchless

My, my, my–I think I just got me a case of the vapors!

First and foremost, keep those anti-hair lotions away from your ding-dong and ho-ho’s! I’m so serious about this, and no, I’m not speaking from experience. Depilatory creams can and often do cause chemical burns, and you can bet there’s not a woman or experienced body hair removal expert out there who uses Veet on their hoo-haw. That shit’s for legs!

Your scrotal skin is much thinner than the skin on the rest of your body, and I can’t imagine that a chemical peel is gonna feel good. Hon, walking pigeon-toed for a month does not make you eligible for a date, so your pain would be for naught. And with your orbs being as red as Christmas tree ornaments, someone’s gonna think they need to call the CDC to check you out, first.

So this raises the interesting question of how a man controls the ungainly rug down below.

Thankfully, the nice people at Gillette have done most of the footwork for me. Take a gander at this animation, and you’ll be pruning the hedge in no time. Just be careful with those razors… those things are sharp! You really don’t want a cut on the ol’ summer sausage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpCnY

And, as always: stay fabulous, bitches!